Today we have a detailed review of a segment in the UK Cosmo magazine claiming to show you how to get a “Bombshell Body in 14 Days.”
Ten-Second Marketing Segue
Before we dive into the content, I’d like to point it the two uses of ellipses (…) on the cover page. You can find use of these three important little dots on so many sales copy pages it’s ridiculous.
I’m not sure why, but for some reason the use of those kind of annoy me. I spent a little time trying to find all the reasons they’re used in the majority of sales copies – and it’s mostly just because they get you to keep reading. Interesting how three dots in a row continue to pique our interest and motivate us to keep reading!
Anyway, let’s get back on track and go over how we’re supposed to get a totally new body in 14 days.
The opening statement
There’s not very much that gives a greater appearance of credibility than celebrity endorsements – let alone when you can rattle them off in a list. Being able to claim that you are personally responsible for the bodies our society covets gives Anderson more expert status than any level of education in exercise physiology or biomechanics (which she lacks) ever could.
So what better way to convince you she’s the real deal than listing off the famous celebrities she trains? Add a flattering image of Kim Kardashian on the cover and name all of your routines after celebrities and you’ve got a recipe for the perfect illusion of expertise.
…while you should always exercise your entire body, Tracy believes that everyone should workout slightly differently according to their shape. “We’re all like snowflakes, no one has the same body. We all store weight in different areas dependent on where we are muscularly weak,” Tracy explains.
Even if you have no experience or knowledge in fitness, you can figure out why that last sentence makes no sense. We store weight dependent on where we are weak? Most of us know that women have weak upper bodies relative to their lower bodies. So if we stored fat where we were weak, wouldn’t we be more prone to store fat on our arms, chest and back rather than hips, thighs and butt?
Not to mention Anderson doesn’t advocate becoming strong. She’s rather well-known around the fitness community for frequently saying things like women shouldn’t lift anything heavier than three pounds.
That’s not to say you can’t get strong with just your bodyweight – just think about how strong gynmasts are! But if you’re okay with women doing something like a push-up, plank or handstand (which would put more strain on your arms than 3lb dumbbells), why wouldn’t you be okay with them lifting heavier weights?
Anyway, I also find it amusing that Anderson says no two bodies are the same, but is here to provide you workouts to give you Kim Kardashian’s butt, Jennifer Aniston’s arms or Gwenyth Paltrow’s legs. She just said your body is not like theirs, so why are you going to to achieve their identical body parts?
Her method works by strengthening the smaller muscle groups so these muscles can pull in the larger ones.
Specifically which ‘smaller’ muscle groups is she talking about? Either way, your muscles don’t really work that way. You’re going to have a really tough time using your gracilis without the rest of your larger thigh muscles working in tandem.
Plus, as we’ll see below, most of the exercises she gives do work your ‘larger’ muscle groups.
The intoduction also gives us some basic rules – eating 1,200 calories a day, doing an extra 30 minutes of cardio everyday and building up to doing 80 reps of each exercise. Obviously I don’t advocate eating only 1,200 calories a day, but I do like the idea of people going for a nice 30 minute walk everyday. As far as 80 reps…I think I’d lose count.
Get Kim Kardashian’s Butt
Let’s go over the formatting of this article really quickly. Each section gives two “secret” moves to work a certain body part. Just know, there are no ‘secrets’ in this industry anymore, really. An exercise either works a certain body part or it doesn’t. This move either activates your glutes or it doesn’t. You could google “glute exercises” and get hundreds of thousands of free results. Hardly a secret.
Each section also gives a gym friend (some machine or exercise to help work the area) and a food friend – a specific food meant to help you shape the area…somehow.
Her first move is basically a donkey kick with a little extra flair that doesn’t add too much to the exercise. The second move is a version of a squat. I’d like to mention that both of these moves would work large muscle groups. The donkey kick uses your glutes, which aren’t exactly small. The squat would use your hamstrings, glutes and quads among other things. Once again, all large muscle groups.
Is this enough evidence to show that her ‘method’ is completely made up?
Secondly, Kim Kardashian has the butt she has because that’s where she tends to store fat.
If making a muscle stronger would cause you to store less fat (according to Anderson’s logic in the introduction), why would you work that area if you wanted a Kardashian-esque butt?
The things Anderson says just don’t add up.
Gym Friend / Food Friend
The gym-friend here is the cross-trainer (aka elliptical). Why? Honestly your guess is as good as mine. I mean there’s nothing wrong with it, but why it’s given specifically for your butt, I have no idea.
Your food friend is bananas and mangoes. Supposedly they’re going to boost blood flow and thus lessen cellulite.
Let’s forget about the blood flow claim for a second. Cellulite simply has to do with the distribution of fat on your body. Women have it much more often than men. It’s not a health concern. There is only ONE proven ‘treatment’ for cellulite. It’s losing fat.
Massage to increase blood flow to the area, scrubbing, laser treatment – none of these have been proven to work in reducing the frequency and appearance of cellulite.
It’s not that you shouldn’t eat bananas and mangoes – hell they may help you lose weight, which would reduce the appearance of cellulite. But you shouldn’t eat them just because you hope they’ll help you get rid of cottage-cheese thighs.
I was going to review this all in one go but this has gotten a tad bit long. In Part II we’ll go over the rest of this article!